Don't follow the shadows

I’ve put off updating this journal for so long I don’t even know where to start.

Now that summer has come to an end, here’s the abridged version of what I was up to this past season:

Besides the festivals, concerts, and mini-vacation, all I did this summer was work. I only saw my best friend once before school started. What was supposed to be a part-time job turned out to be full time, but at least I made well over two thousand dollars and am still working one day on the weekends. Many times I’ve wanted to post a huge rant about all the reverse racism I experience at work, but it won’t change the fact that every issue in Milwaukee is always about social class or race because the city is ridiculously segregated in terms of living space. Although I technically work in Brookfield, which is known for its uppity white residents, the store is on the border of Milwaukee and just down the road from the north side. Until another employee transferred from another store a few weeks ago, I was the only white person there out of all the cashiers and customer service associates. Needless to say, I was not welcome. After a few months, most of them have accepted me, but the customers sure as hell don’t. For some reason, all the blacks living in the ghetto of Milwaukee think all the white people around here are racist. I still have yet to meet one, so I’m not sure where they’re getting this mentality, but I am so sick of it. If I ever get around to typing up the dialogue, I’ve got a top 10 worst customers of the summer list that could be entertaining depending on your sense of humor. And trust me, it was very difficult narrowing it down to just ten. I honestly don’t mind working customer service in retail. It’s just the customers and coworkers that are insufferable.

The good news is I have enough money to continue financing my tattoo and study abroad in Ireland this summer (if I still want to when the time comes). Gaelic isn’t too difficult so far and the grammar has been a lot nicer than German. It’s actually the easiest out of all my classes. I would’ve loved to study abroad in Germany, but all the programs are for business, engineering and mathematics majors.

I’m also back in the dorms again this year, since my sister needs my car for the hour-long commute to community college. The only bus I can take goes through the ghetto. In fact, the very place I’d pick it up is the parking lot outside my work where people get robbed on a daily basis. I’ve ridden it before, and you guessed it, I was the only white person on it. At least my suitemates this year are rather quiet and keep to themselves. The girls next door to me have been dating each other for three years, and there have already been some nasty arguments between the two, but at least they make an effort to be friendly when they see me. We never see the girls in the other room because one is usually off with her douchebag boyfriend and the other is from a very rural area and seems frightened of us. But if that’s the worst of it, I can deal.

This semester I’m going to make an effort to post more of my artwork on here, since I’m taking figure drawing and printmaking. Unfortunately, my professors still have all the work I planned on posting here on display, so that’s going to have to be pushed back a week or so. I’m just relieved I’m still one of the top students in my class after not having had the time to draw anything in over a year. I really don’t feel like I accomplished much at all this summer except catching up on movies I’d been meaning to see and rereading Tolkien’s trilogy. (I actually only got through the first two, but I’m starting RotK tonight as today marks Frodo & Bilbo Baggins’ birthdays and the day they both left the Shire.) Speaking of birthdays, I also turned 21 earlier this month and ended up embarrassingly tipsy at Houlihan's over an orange juice glass-sized amount of Bailey's.

Arrrgghhh! I haven’t had as much as a mild cold in over a year, but I somehow contracted strep last weekend. (I suspect it’s from the guy who sneezed on me in the crowd at the Morrissey concert, since I started coming down with it on Sunday night.) At first I figured the sore throat was just from fatigue, since I’d been up 'til 5:00 AM writing that midterm I put off when I had a week to write it. By Tuesday my throat was so swollen I could barely eat and ended up sleeping through two of my classes because I had a high fever, joint and muscle pain, and nausea. After class on Wednesday I went home to go to urgent care, and by then my tonsils, ears, and nose were infected in addition to my throat. I’m not contagious now, but I feel bad about all the people I may have unknowingly infected as I also went to most of my classes on Thursday. Catherine is also home this weekend for Easter, so I’m not sure if I should take a chance and hang out with her when the end of the semester is upon us. I still feel like crap, so I’m thinking not anyway.

But at least I’m getting $168 for my tax return after not get anything last year! The timing couldn’t be better with my next tattoo appointment a few weeks away and will cover most of the cost if not all of it.

Remember my astronomy professor I complained about all of last semester? He was just featured in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel for having a record amount of students drop his class and the lowest GPAs of any subject taught at the university! I guess this justifies all the bitching I did. It’s no less than he deserves, though.

I’ve also been obsessively listening to Eluveitie’s new album, Evocation I: The Arcane Dominion, that leaked. I figured a Celtic folk metal band doing an acoustic album couldn’t go wrong if they tried, and it’s even better than expected. (Then again, I do love straight up Celtic folk music as it is.) It still has lyrics in Gaulish and their signature darker pagan feel to it, but very minimal use of harsh vocals. There are several lively jigs and reels with plenty of flute, tin whistle, and pipes as well as slower, mysterious, ethereal songs. I particularly like "Carnutian Forest", "Momento" (bagpipes!), "The Cauldron of Renascence", "The Arcane Dominion", and of course "Omnos":

Also, No Doubt covered "Stand and Deliver". What? Somehow I can only imagine Adam Ant pulling off campy pirate new wave, so I’m not too keen on the cover, but it certainly is an…er…interesting choice.

Anyway, Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate it and a happy belated Ostara to my fellow pagan friends!

Good news first: today I went to Village Hall and voted absentee for Barack Obama! (I’m not registered to vote in Milwaukee County, and since I only live in the dorms on campus, I’m technically a resident of Waukesha County.) This is the first presidential election I've been able to vote in, and I'm glad there is a candidate this time that I can fully support.

This is kind of random, but I just noticed that one of my icons has disappeared and been replaced by an image of a woman I’ve never seen before. I made the original icon myself, so the image was uploaded directly from my computer.

( WTF? )

I’m obviously changing it immediately because it’s not 100 x 100 pixels, which drives me insane, and I want my old icon back. I guess I’m also going to need to change my password, even though I thought it was already nearly impossible to figure out to begin with.

Now for the not-so-great news…

Two days ago, my mom moved my college money over into a money market. Unfortunately, this happened too late. She found out through a mailed statement that with the recent stock market drops, I’d lost about $15,000 from my college funds. It’s a good thing she didn’t wait any longer. I wish she would’ve done it sooner, but my dad is the only one who has access to these accounts. With his self-imposed exile and depression, I doubt he was/is concerned with my college funds. At least my grandpa has been giving away money like crazy, so there’ll be enough to pay for my education. Still, I knew this was going to happen way before it did, and it sucks that I had no control over it. I’m going to need all the money I can get when I graduate, and this is just making things worse. Apparently, my dad only put $5,000 into it when I was born, so it’s not like he’s completely paying for my education. However, he promised he would explain to my mom what he had invested the money in, and he never did. When he moved out 10 months ago, he also moved all his money over into more secure accounts and ignored my mom’s, my sister’s, and mine. I normally wouldn’t be concerned, but not only did I lose $15,000, my sister who will be graduating from high school and starting a two-year college this year lost about $6,000. Luckily, my grandpa was a stockbroker and an accountant; so he’s been giving advice and helping to somewhat fix this. I know this all may sound greedy and materialistic of me, but I’m in college right now, so I need the money. I understand a lot of people have to take out student loans, but most of them will be looking for standard, stable careers once they graduate that will help pay them off, whereas I won’t be. As I’ve mentioned before, the body modification industry in this country is currently extremely competitive, so if it’s impossible for me to get an apprenticeship here, I’m going to need to go and get an associate’s degree in graphic design so I can start out somewhere while still looking for an apprenticeship. Ideally, I’d like to get an apprenticeship here and relocate to Europe where things aren’t so competitive (according to my tattoo artist, anyway).

This story of how a couple murdered a UWM student over his car has been in the news lately, and it’s made me do a lot of thinking. I didn’t know him personally, but he was in my astronomy class. He was essentially kidnapped near where I go to school and live during the week. My farm is also located near where the murder happened, which I also find surprising for such a small, rural community.

In lighter, gory news, I had my bottom teeth crudely stripped some more with sandpaper this afternoon courtesy of my orthodontist. All I have to say is my teeth better look perfect after all of this is done because it was quite painful and I spit blood for quite some time afterward. My ortho looked like an axe-murderer after it was over with all the blood on his gloves. I may have to have this done yet again in six weeks depending on how well my teeth are aligning. But at least I’m, you know, still alive and fairly well.

First of all, Lughnasadh is here! Today is the halfway point between Midsummer and Samhain, and with the heat we’ve been having, the prospect of fall is looking promising about now. There will also be a full solar eclipse, which I will unfortunately not be able to see due to my location. Those of you who can, enjoy it!

Secondly, it isn’t often that I become perturbed at something in pop culture or the media because I can usually ignore it. Right now, there are two things that won’t stop popping up and are driving me insane: Heath Ledger as the Joker in the new Batman movie the Dark Knight and Brett Favre. I don’t know if it’s the fact I live in Wisconsin or what, but everyone getting all upset over the separation of their OTP (Brett Favre/Packers) and the possibility of them getting back together is getting really annoying. American football isn’t serious fandom business, guys. It’s just a game. Think about the meaning of the word here. He should do what he wants, as well as the Packers, and all the fans need to stop being butthurt about it. You can’t blame the Packers for not taking him back if it’s going to be a big inconvenience to the team. As for the Heath Ledger Joker, I am sick to death of seeing pictures, macros, icons, etc. of the actual character and otherwise with their MS Paint-scribbled out eyes and mouth with “why so serious?” hastily scratched somewhere on the image. Obviously, he wouldn’t be getting this kind of attention if he were alive. Yes, he was one of the few actors I actually liked and was unhappy to learn of his death, but there have been dead celebrities featured in films that were being filmed or already filmed at the time of their death, and there will continue to be. It’s just getting really old. I don’t really care if I’m the only one who hasn’t seen the movie. I’m not going to pay $10 for a three-hour movie about Batman.

In other news, I decided I’m going to wait on handing my two weeks’ notice in for another week because I will need the extra money and will feel very guilty for sitting around the house for two weeks. One week is plenty, especially since I will be packing during that time. I need the money because the 20% off associate sale at work starts tomorrow, and know I’m already buying around $200 worth of merchandise. More on that later…

I know I’m going into controversial territory here, but I feel like I should mention something on the subject. My cousin Kyle has Aspberger’s Syndrome (a kind of autism), and he is now in driver’s ed and behind the wheel of a potential killing-machine. I say this because he doesn’t have good control over his anger, and my aunt and uncle do not know about it because it’s Catherine’s brother who tells me what he’s doing while he’s in school. Well, he had only been out driving with my aunt once and she had him simply park the car in the garage. He got flustered, didn’t break, and smashed into the back wall. He annihilated his sister’s scooter and all of the shelving, where the contents fell onto the hood of the car and all over the floor. The car is damaged, as well as the house. I honestly don’t think he should be driving. You can’t freak out in more serious situations on the road, let alone parking at your own house. I’ve spent a lot of time with Kyle, so I know what he’s like. Whenever he is angered by something, his reaction is very violent, and Catherine’s brother also agrees that he could very easily use the car to purposely hit someone in a car or a pedestrian. He knows this first-hand as the two of them actually got in a fistfight a few years ago. I hope this parking incident opens my aunt and uncle’s eyes and they evaluate the situation. They already have the poor kid going down the path of juvenile diabetes and heart disease because they go against his doctor’s orders and let him have all the sweets he wants, and now he’s morbidly obese. Although I’m no longer close with my cousins, I do drive around town and simply don’t feel comfortable with him on the road, which is what motivated me to mention this in the first place.

ETA: I found out that Kyle's driver's ed instructor does not think he should be driving either, so I guess I really wasn't out of line by saying what I did.